Finding out that someone you used to be in a relationship with is getting married can either be mental torture or a blessing. But it shouldn’t be a problem if you and your ex ended the relation on a mutual understanding.
But what happens when you’re suddenly invited to your ex’s wedding? It could come across as odd to receive an invite, what more if you haven’t talked to your ex since you broke up.
In this article, we’ll be talking about the things you should and shouldn’t do if you were invited to your ex’s wedding.
Make Sure That You’re Invited
There’s no reason to go to your ex’s wedding if you’re not invited – or any wedding or event for that matter. Not only is this immature but it also reflects an unattractive image on you. You might get the satisfaction of crashing the wedding but remember, this is a special day for a person. Even if you had your heartbroken, they deserve a special day to celebrate their marriage just like everyone else.
All actions come with consequences so there’s no reason to stress or bother yourself by crashing the wedding. There’s neither a benefit to gain nor nothing to lose… well, other than probably getting looked down upon by the guests. But that is on you and there will be a day where you will regret doing so. Remember that you are better than that.
Getting Invited To Your Ex’s Wedding
It could be odd when you first receive the invitation to the wedding, even if the relationship ended on either a good note. Before you react, try to rationalise your thoughts and think of the reasons why you were invited.
From a positive outlook, it could be that they want to share an important day of their life with you as you were once an important person in their life. You could be someone who they look up to and made them the person they are today as you both grew up together in the past. With many good memories and lessons throughout the journey of being adults together, they might have put the past behind them and moved on and is simply inviting you as fellow adults to congratulate them to begin a new chapter of their life.
If you were to view it from a different point of view, some could have more malicious intent in inviting. The invite might be to rub it in your face that they’re doing better without you. But know that if you’re emotionally matured and at a point in your life where you’re happy with what you have, you don’t have to react to it by going to the wedding just to prove that you are doing better too. Attending the wedding could result in an awkward event and you might have mixed emotions during the ceremony.
There are cases, however, where if you didn’t break up properly and might have the slightest feelings for each other – this could be dangerous. Their intention to invite you to the wedding might be to see you for the last time but it could spark an old romance that never really died down. If you do attend the wedding, remember that they are not yours anymore no matter how much your heart swells when you see them. Respect their spouse and let this just be the one that got away.
Be Prepared Unwanted For Gossips and Attentions
If you were to attend your ex’s wedding, it might be a heated topic especially among the guests who are close to the couple and knows your history with your ex – there will probably be those who disagree with you attending the event. The atmosphere might get intense and awkward as there might be stares and they might be paying attention to how you react, say, and do during the ceremony. Know that you have no obligation to please or stay just to prove a point – it isn’t your wedding and you’re just a guest.
Yes, you want to look good but try not to overshadow the couple on their wedding day.
Wearing something great will boost your self-confidence and self-esteem during the event. From a positive outlook, it will subtly make your ex feel honoured that you’re able to look good and reflect on their taste in partners as opposed to being embarrassed due to your appearance.
If you’re single and attending the wedding without a plus one, you can use this opportunity to mingle with people and give them good first impressions. This will create a mutual sense of respect between you and your ex on how mature you both are.
A Few Last Pieces of Advice
Manners Maketh Man
Manners are the most important thing to have, what more when you’re attending the wedding of a former lover. You must be the best version of yourself during the event and try not to mention anything regarding your past with the ex to the ones at your table. Respect both of the couple’s feeling and try to talk about other things instead. Remember, ‘Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength’.
Put Yourself First
If you’re not okay with attending the event because you might get mixed feelings in the middle or if you’re prone to breaking down, spare yourself the heartbreak (and tears) and don’t go. This isn’t a competition, there’s no winner. The best choice is to take care of yourself and your heart first and be a mature person.
But if you do attend and feel uncomfortable in the middle of the event, don’t be afraid to walk out. Do congratulate the couple for their marriage before you leave, it’s ruder not to.
Bring a Plus One
To not feel lonely and lost, it’ll be best if you bring a plus one. Bring either your friend or siblings to accompany you so that you have someone to talk to during the event.
To end, everyone goes through heartbreak in some way and of course, it will hurt. But what’s most important is what you feel and how you think you should act. If you’re uncomfortable with going, don’t and if you do, we wish you all the best. But remember, don’t crash and cause a scene because that’s not what anyone should be doing.
Do you have any advice for those who got invited to their ex’s wedding? Or have you been invited to your ex’s wedding? Share your stories in the comments below!
Featured image by Andreas Rønningen